In response to the Take 20 video, I was most surprised to discover nearly all of the teachers were nervous about going into the classroom. This seemed to be a common theme, even among the instructors who have now become legendary for their teaching methods.
As a first-year instructor, I often feel ill-prepared and inadequate. I always think, "What in the world am I doing up here?" It was nice to hear other instructors felt the same way when they first began their teaching careers, that they relied on the book or the projector or the board as a way to anchor themselves and gain security. Teaching can be a scary thing.
It inspired me to hear that these feelings of apprehension and anxiety eventually lessened. It gave me hope that maybe I am not a horrible teacher. Maybe I am just a new teacher feeling her way out, so to speak. I also like the notion that writing instructors have to constantly reinvent themselves and the material they cover in classes because writing is always changing. I have this phobia about becoming a dusty old English teacher with a 1000 cats and no friends talking about the same books and the same commas with a stack of DVDs when everyone else is getting movies beamed to their brains with a technology I won't be able to understand. It's nice to see people like Andrea Lunsford, who is an older woman, as one of the go-getters who keep composition fresh. I prefer to think of composition as dynamic rather than static, if it's only to ward off my fear of the wrinkled, crabby, lonely Ms. Moore.
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4 comments:
Amen re: people like Andrea Lunsfort reinventing herself as a teacher--she moved to Standford (from Ohio State) and started a media-based composition program. Bravo for her!
I do worry about getting stale....I think good teachers do worry about that. Or perhaps conscientous teachers.
And as long as we're all open to learning, I think we can all get better...which is, as you note, hopeful indeed.
Why is it always the English teachers who are afraid of getting stale? Just because you like to teach doens't make you a spinster. Besides, cat ladies are fun!
I think all of us who are in the classroom for the first time are feeling that same aprehension, even a month into the semester. It's not necessarily that we feel pressure from Susan or anyone else looking over our shoulders (at least for me it's not). It's the ten emails I get right after a class, not sure of what to do on the assignment. This causes a constant self-evaluation: maybe I'm not getting through to them, or maybe I'm failing my students in some way as a teacher. I talked to my mom, who taught junior high math for thirty years, about this concern. She told me this: that means that you're actually doing a good job, beacuse you care. That was encouraging.
Talk about apprehension--whenever students laugh, I immediately check my zipper to make sure it isn't down. I'm also very conscious of my arm fat when I'm writing on the board.
I am sure you can find a balance between becoming comfortable with your methods while still keeping things fresh. You're a creative writer! I would think you'd like to mix it up every now and then.
That is probably the hardest part of teaching though. When you finally get over the fear and fall into the groove, how do you continue to renew yourself and your teaching style? Who knows? I'll ask you in twenty years and see how the cats are doing.
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